I'd been lying to myself for years, telling myself that I was just a casual drinker. In reality, the hour between drinks was hell. And that last drink was never really my last drink of the day. My life was a mess. I was a mess. But I didn't realize it until I spent every last dime on booze and was walking home with an empty heart. I couldn't take it any more.
I remember punching my hand in the wall as I dialed the local rehab center. "I need help!" — I didn't know I was saving my life as I said these three words. I knew that I could no longer afford self — deception. I had to snap out of my bubble and I couldn't do it alone. The 12-step program has really helped me so far.
Even now I have weak moments where I just want to take a sip or two. But I now know how to work around my triggers. They are tough, but I'm tougher. I rely on my coping strategies now that include the love and support of my family, social network and my new spiritual path.