I entered the pit of self-destruction when I lost my mother.
When she was first diagnosed with cancer, I gave up everything just to take care of her. She was supposed to make it but she didn't. I knew that drinking and using weren't going to make her come back but I had to soothe the pain.
Years passed by as I drank away my pain. I neglected my career, my house, my life. I failed her and I failed myself. Till one day, I looked at this zombie standing in front of the mirror, and thought to myself, "Would my momma have liked what I've become?" That was the minute I grabbed all the bottles and drained them into the toilette.
I admit, I still battle between thoughts of keeping it all together to thoughts of going back to my former self. But I have a good sponsor who understands me more than I understand myself, and the sharing is like a healing balm that keeps me on track. My career is back on track and I'm dating again. Thank you, Universe!