Becoming a druggie was never part of the plan. But it happened. And not just to me. I know so many people who are friendly on the outside but inside they're a train wreck.
I wish I knew better. I wish I had quit before my one true friend, my wife, decided to quit on me. I was constantly ruminating: "If only I had done more. If only this. If only that." It felt like I would fall off a cliff at any moment.
My wife's departure was a radical wake up call. If I ever hoped to get her back, I knew I'd have to get clean. So I started replacing my urges with little joys, favorite foods, ice cream, Netflix, exercising, friends. I kept taking baby steps, every morning — what they call (sobriety)Cereal.
It's been a year now that I am sober and my wife is back with me. My urges haven't completely gone away and our bond is not yet as strong as before. But I am committed to becoming the best version of myself for her. For us.